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What's the most anticlimatic celebration you've been to? A contender from me... A good few years ago a mate was celebrating his 21st birthday on a Tuesday night. He invited a small list of chums but for various reasons only me and one other turned up. We then had a pub crawl around Waterloo in the days when Waterloo was still full of dive bars and not the gastro-pub infested place of today. The night started badly as the third person proceeded to claim that he was a poet and insisted that we read his work. It was reasonably good stuff but unbelievably depressing. Thankfully after 3 hours of him explaining why his dad committed suicide he buggered off and left me and birthday boy as the only two people in a pub. By then we were sombre if not sober and frankly bored so birthday boy started fiddling with the lamp next to us; switching it on and off repeatedly. Cue landlord storming over... "Oi you two, drink up and get out!" Night ends at 9pm.

a stag day/night in brighton recently. 8 of us were supposed to be trying our hand at golf but it was pissing down so 2 didn't turn up and the remaining 6 ended up bowling and then watching a film. after the (crap) film, 3 more made their excuses and the remaining trio of the groom, the best man (his brother) and me, went for dinner at pizza express.

that was actually nice enough. we then had a folorn pint in a busy bar and i headed off to get the train only to find that i'd missed the last one. walked in the still pissing rain to the coach station at the other end of town to find there no coaches back to london till 4am. walked back up to the best man's flat in the still pouring rain and slept in my wet clothes in an armchair.

the following weekend at the wedding having spent weeks sweating about what song to sing i was ignored by 200 people for the duration of my well-meaning but apparently inaudible version of "may you never". then i got thrown out for running round the greyhound track and they wouldn't let me back in to collect my guitar. i spend the cutting of the cake etc sitting alone and without a drink in the carpark.

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Back off Warchild, seriously.

http://elvers.bandcamp.com/

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Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.

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Looks like Elijah Wood. Supports Liverpool. Likes Coldplay.

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