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Seem like knives have replaced paedos / Government ministers going wrong / Pete Doherty / BNP supporting twats / cheese related injuries AS THIS WEEK'S BIG STORY. Gives good headlines see. Problem is the victims are often random. Young men chatting outside a station waiting for a lift. Have a go heroes on trains. Schoolkids outside school. Christ the front page of my local paper has a mother stabbing another mother outside a Penge school (thankfully not the one my son attends). Basically any of us could be a victim. Why? What's going wrong? Do we blame the influence of gangster rap? Violent videos / games getting into the hands of morons? Inadequate parenting? Too many shag and run dads? All of these things? None of them?

Solutions? Knife amnesties? More bobbies on the beat? Stop and search? Be tough on crime and the cause of crime... No I really mean it this time? All of these? None of these?

Or is everyone just hoping that the BB participants all start shagging so the news just fades to page 17?

Oh hang on, I think our saviour's here, yes cheese related injuries are big news again...



Oh God, Tarquin's been nobbled by a huge Gouda...

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Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.

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If Ian Curtis had lived, and enjoyed the ale…

- -

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Tall, moustachioed alcoholic - plays firewood with a bow.

I'd know exactly what to do, VV. It's just whether or not I could do it. We don't know how we will react to situations like this until confronted.

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Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.

I'd know what to do - hand over my stuff.

The one time I did get mugged in London was back in '94: broad daylight, 4pm - "don't make me get my ratchet out" - I hand over wallet - muggers search through - find 29p and cash card - put them back - hand back wallet - apologise - wander off. Bizarre.

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Pukka Pie pest

Embrace the margin
Always Changing at Retford http://sptxx.tumblr.com/
Not Changing at Retford http://sptxx2.tumblr.com/

Trouble is every half-wit, chav and arsehole not currently carrying a knife is going to see these headlines and think they too must now carry one, and no little Swiss pocket knife will do in case the other knob has one bigger, oh no, it has to be a machete. Actually make that a mace.... No, an axe... wait, a gun.... machine gun... bazooka.... exocet missile... oh you get my point.

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All you need is love.

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Tall, moustachioed alcoholic - plays firewood with a bow.

fuck knives

i was the recipient of a viscious spooning the other day.

flick-spoons should be banned.

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Back off Warchild, seriously.

http://elvers.bandcamp.com/

All spoons should be banned. I am still recovering from an ear assault where four guys played Burt bachy tunes to death with nothing but a collection of table spoons for a whole night *shudder*

And Keith Segal - I must admit that when cutlery comes into the equation I surrender quite quickly with a sly kick to the crown jewels as I run away in a ladylike fashion...

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Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.

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sometimes I write things....

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Jarvis Cocker or David Bowie or AVB or Johnny Borrell, she isn't picky

Cavey Cocker, Cup Cake Queen, Saint Thomas.