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Couldn't resist a little Schadenfreude yesterday as the wheels well-and-truly came off the Scotland band-wagon and somehow found their way onto England's getaway car.

On Saturday morning the BBC News sports reporter was asking viewers to text in and say whether English fans should support Scotland in Euro 98. Then they treated us to an interview with Ally Mcleish who said of course Scotland would beat the, er, world champions - after all, they'd managed two incredibly fluky wins over France, so why not?

Scotland were a team of world-class warriors with a crowd who could literally blow the ball into Italy's goal if all else failed. It was a done deal.

And then the game started.

Meanwhile, Gus Hiddink made the controversial decision to substitute his real players with comedy look-alikes and sent them out with the instruction to "defend like Newcastle United".

And now if we beat Croatia by a couple of goals we could finish top of the group - surely the least-deserved acheivement in football history (unless you count Harry Kewell's Champions League Winners medal)?

Mind you, quite who is going to score our goals on Wednesday is a tricky question - two own goals perhaps?

Oh god - I can hear Mclaren's team talk now:

"Right, lads, we're at home so let's get plenty of bodies behind the ball. Crouch, you're on your own up front. Terry will hoof the ball in your general direction every chance he gets so that you can sprint past the defenders and dink the ball over the goalie. Gerrad - this is a massive game so don't forget to put in a piss-poor performance. If it's still nil-nil after an hour I'll bring on Phil Neville just to give us some more attacking options...."

I think we will qualify now but there will probably be more scares on the way just like when it took a late Beckham free kick to equalise versus a poor Greece at OT that time.

As for the Sweaties I took no joy in their failure and might well have cheered them on in Austria/Switzerland but beating Italy was always going to be a tall order. Amazing performance throughout the tourney though, particularly v France.

Crouch is a top player, I'd be chuffed if City signed him in January.

Talking of stand up... Just got an email from Virgin Media trying to persuade me to sign up to their Setanta Sports package despite the fact I am already signed up to it. They claim that it features top action, debate and the views of top former player Kelly Dalglish.......

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Pukka Pie pest

Embrace the margin
Always Changing at Retford http://sptxx.tumblr.com/
Not Changing at Retford http://sptxx2.tumblr.com/

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Life's But A Walking Shadow

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Looks like Elijah Wood. Supports Liverpool. Likes Coldplay.

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Life's But A Walking Shadow

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Pukka Pie pest

Embrace the margin
Always Changing at Retford http://sptxx.tumblr.com/
Not Changing at Retford http://sptxx2.tumblr.com/

They think its all over ... [/url]

Thank gawd for that. Fourth choice and fourth rate manager.

Five live stated just now there are only 36 English players in the premier league!

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If Ian Curtis had lived, and enjoyed the ale…

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If Ian Curtis had lived, and enjoyed the ale…

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Howdy, I'm not setting this up as an England v Scotland argument, it's ultimately pointless but I've no axe to grind with England. Plus Scotland has learned the hard way to expect defeat, it's something that happens every time regardless. But you're being a little harsh.

To say Scotland needs to take a 'long, hard look at why they didn't qualify'; the only "small nations" to beat us were Georgia and Ukraine, both away, the latter of which were seeded above us, as were Italy, the only team to beat us twice. Also, we won every game at Hampden until the final one. Eight wins as fourth seed is bloody impressive. You can call our wins over France lucky as much as you like but it won't detract from the achievement and the pride that every Scottish fan feels. Scotland were, to use the cliché, punching well above their weight and almost achieved something no one thought remotely possible.

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Life's But A Walking Shadow